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Transmissions from (PLACEHOLDER DATE)

meeting of the minds

Peanut Butter & Jelly? More like, pee-nut butt-er n silly.

Steven Universe? More like, Steve-in poo-niverse.

23 hours no sleep. vomiting and seeing wizards.

there is no cop on earth that can Stop me i Promise you they’ve tried

Love is like a tumor. If you love someone and you try to bite them off, it'll bleed a lot. But it'll kinda taste good.

My cousin retweeted, "Drinking Orange juice with pulp is like eating ass with toilet paper in it," and it made me very unnerved because I've never used toilet paper.

I'm a real frapper. I frappe every day. I love frapping. Alright, thanks guys. :)

if cough was spelled like “coff” then the world would be a better place and we could all start facing the real problems; dudes who dont take the sticker off their hats

When you take out the fun times and feel a gaping hole in ur tummy.

i live in the computer. feed me your ssn

need a roman guy to tickle me. call it romantickle. gimme that suck n fuck n swallow type beat. im talkin ass claps for hi-hats type beat. -red lobster official

When your birthday is on March 7th but it isn’t.

do you think theres some dude out there that would mow my lawn for me

The wonder bread guy personally introduced me to boobs

"hows abt that image of the big guy in a car? just the picture. like, just put the picture on the site. no caption. uyea. just like that. yea."

thats just how it is on this bitch of an earth

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Like my stuff. Fuck you.